Partner compatibility test
Version history
- v1.0 - Initial (Contributed by my friend, A)
- v2.0 - Customised by Vipin
Introduction
I used the following list of questions as a starting point when trying to decide whom to marry. Most of the questions were given to me by a good friend who is vastly more experienced with relationships. I customised it to make it my own.
Some questions you can ask your partner directly. Others you should try to answer yourself by observing your partner over some time. This is not an exhaustive list, and everyone is different, so you should only use this as an inspiration and adapt it according to your needs. Bear in mind that you will never find anyone who gives you perfect answers. The key is to understand where you can compromise and where you cannot.
Good luck!
Priorities
This is the most important section. Having a similar set of priorities will make a life together a lot easier.
- List your priorities (e.g. partner, self, children, career, family, friends, sex, religion/God, money etc.)
- Why are your priorities in that order?
- Would your priorities always remain the same forever, or could they change? What would cause it to change?
- In a scenario where I have a disagreement with your parents or my parents have a disagreement with you, how would you deal with it?
- What makes life meaningful for you?
Health
- Do you have any health issues that I should be aware of? Physical / mental.
- Do you have any allergies?
- What are your dietary preferences?
Mentality
- How are you at handling setbacks?
- How are you at handling grief?
- What are the worst experiences you've had in your life? What did you learn from them?
- How are you at handling adversity?
- What is your mindset? Optimist? Pessimist?
- Are you content / grateful for what you have?
Personality
- What are your views on religion and God?
- What are your political views? Do you like to have discussions about politics?
- What's your view on abortion?
- What's your Myers–Briggs Type? Ideally, do the test together so you can understand each other better.
- What's your love language? Ideally, do the test together so you can understand each other better.
- Assess morals, e.g., caring, selfless, kind, loyal, faithful, honest, truthful, trustworthy, family values
- Assess skills, e.g., communication, independence, can adapt to change, problem-solving ability, open-mindedness, learn from mistakes, able to admit fault and say sorry, be empathetic etc.
- What are your interests/hobbies? How much do we have in common?
- Are you a morning person or an evening person?
Relationship with partner
- Are you willing to compromise?
- What differences do you think there will be between our roles in the relationship? What about equality, 50:50 split?
- What are your key expectations of a partner? E.g. moving to my place, love, sex, honesty, support, personal space, ambition etc.
- Do you have the ability to form your own opinions when we discuss things without being blindly influenced by friends and family.
- Are you going to gossip or be overly dramatic? Especially in public. Do you know the value of a time and a place?
- What do you find attractive about me?
- Is physical/emotional attraction important to you?
- Do you think it's important to make an effort to be attractive for your partner? E.g. keeping healthy and fit, wearing nice clothes etc. Not necessarily wearing makeup etc.
- What would make you want a break-up or divorce? E.g. abuse, cheating.
- How would you solve smaller relationship problems? E.g. communication, compromise etc.
- What do you consider to be cheating?
- What's your relationship history?
- Why did previous relationships (if any) not work? What did you learn from them?
- What are the strengths and weaknesses that you'll bring to a relationship?
Finances
- What's your salary?
- What are your savings? How much do you save each month? How do you save?
- Do you have a budget?
- Do you have any debts? Do your close family have any debts I should be aware of?
- Do you expect to support your parents or family members financially now or in the future?
- How do you prefer to manage money with a partner? Keep things separate but have a joint account for shared expenses? Pool everything together?
Future
- Do you expect to pursue your career in the long term?
- What should we do when we have children? Take paternal/maternal leave, take a break from work, have parents look after children?
- How many children do you expect to have? When?
- What's your five-year plan?
- What are your dreams?
- What are your fears?