A (simple) bash script that combines fortune and cowsay, with some ocd tendencies Mostly useful for printing (funny) messages at terminal startup
- Intended use: Place the script in your $PATH, and call it from ~/.bashrc (runs it at terminal startup)
- Dependencies: cowsay, fortune
- Available options: --disable-ocd, --default-message, all args from fortune program (do man fortune)
When using disable-ocd, cow is selected at random. Random generation of fortune is left to the fortune program at all times.
By default, fortunes are picked up from the default location /usr/share/games/fortunes (Ubuntu) or /usr/share/fortunes/ (Arch Linux). If you want to use the fortune collection here with the program, you may add this to your .bashrc.
FORTUNE_BASE_DIR=/path/to/fortune/folders/
~/bin/fortunecow -e $FORTUNE_BASE_DIR/*/ # -e treats all fortune files as equal.
By default, cows are picked up from the default location /usr/share/cowsay/cows/ (Ubuntu) or /usr/share/cows/ (Arch Linux). To use the cow collection here, add something like this to your .bashrc.
COW_BASE_DIR=/path/to/cow/folders
export COWPATH="$COW_BASE_DIR/my_cows:$COW_BASE_DIR/other_cows:$COW_BASE_DIR/aur_cows:$COW_BASE_DIR/ubuntu_cows"
- Chalkboard gag is reserved for Bart. Similarly, futurama fortunes are spoken by futurama characters, calvin and hobbes quotes by calvin, and so on. (Eg: fortunecow ~/data/fortunes/pop/futurama). Mapping for this is done with bash globs, and more can be added in the script.
- Ban cows without removing the cow file (edit the script vars manually for this)
- Offensive fortune calls for offensive cow (-o argument)
- Some cows do not speak. They think.
- ascii-art fortunes are not meant to be spoken. Cows are not employed for such fortunes and long fortunes
__________________________________________________________________
/ Bubblegum: Bender, you can talk trash, you can handle the ball, \
| but look in your heart and ask yourself: are you funky |
| enough to be a Globe Trotter? Are you? |
| Bender: Yes. |
| Bubblegum: Are you? |
| Bender: I mean, with time, my funk level could... |
| Bubblegum: Are you?! |
| Bender: No. |
\ Bubblegum: Deal with it. /
------------------------------------------------------------------
\
\
( )
H
H
_H_
.-'-.-'-.
/ \
| |
| .-------'._
| / / '.' '. \
| \ \ @ @ / /
| '---------'
| _______|
| .'-+-+-+|
| '.-+-+-+|
| """""" |
'-.__ __.-'
"""
/home/anup/data/fortunes/pop/futurama bender.cow -g 5
_____________________________________________________________________
( NASA Researcher: Why, they're all a bunch of blue-collar slobs! )
( )
( Launch Manager: People, that's who we need for our next astronaut. )
( )
( Launch Assistant: I suggest a lengthy, inefficient search. At the )
( taxpayers' expense, of course. )
( )
( Launch Manager: I wish there was an easier way. )
( )
( [Phone rings] )
( )
( Homer: Hello, is this NASA? )
( )
( [ ] The Simpsons - 1F13 - Deep Space Homer. )
---------------------------------------------------------------------
o ,---.
o ,.'-. \
o ( ( ,'"""""-.
o `,X `.
o /` ` `._
( , ,_\
| ,---.,'o `.
| / o \ )
\ ,. ( .____,
\| \ \____,' \
'`'\ \ _,____,'
\ ,-- ,-' \
( C ,' \
`--' .' |
| | .O |
__| \ ,-'_
/ `L `._ _,' ' `.
/ `--.._ `',. _\ `
`-. /\ | `. ( ,\ \
_/ `-._ / \ |--' ( \
' `-. `' \/\`. `. )
\ -hrr- \ `. | |
/home/anup/data/fortunes/pop/simpsons homer.cow -b 2
_____________________________________________________________
/ In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. \
| Find the fun and snap! The job's a game. |
| And every task you undertake, becomes a piece of cake, |
| a lark, a spree; it's very clear to see. |
\ -- Mary Poppins /
-------------------------------------------------------------
\ ___-------___
\ _-~~ ~~-_
\ _-~ /~-_
/^\__/^\ /~ \ / \
/| O|| O| / \_______________/ \
| |___||__| / / \ \
| \ / / \ \
| (_______) /______/ \_________ \
| / / \ / \
\ \^\\ \ / \ /
\ || \______________/ _-_ //\__//
\ ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~ ~\ || __/
~-----||====/~ |==================| |/~~~~~
(_(__/ ./ / \_\ \.
(_(___/ \_____)_)
songs-poems turtle.cow -y 84
____________________________________________________________________________
/ A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally \
| established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon |
| or three normal sized billiard balls. |
\ -- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic" /
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
\\\|||/// \\\|||/// \\\|||///
. ======= . ======= . =======
/ \| O O | / \| O O | / \| O O |
\ / \v_'/ \ / \v_'/ \ / \v_'/
# _| |_ # _| |_ # _| |_
(#) ( ) (#) ( ) (#) ( )
#\//|* *|\\ #\//|* *|\\ #\//|* *|\\
#\/( * )/ #\/( * )/ #\/( * )/
# ===== # ===== # =====
# (\ /) # (\ /) # (\ /)
# || || # || || # || ||
.#---'| |----. .#---'| |----. .#---'| |----.
#----' -----' #----' -----' #----' -----'
magic natives.cow -p 84
____________________________________________________________________________
/ Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK \
| assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, |
\ deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. /
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
\
\
.--.
|o_o |
|:_/ |
// \ \
(| | )
/'\_ _/`\
\___)=(___/
chucknorris tux.cow -y 84
____________________________________________________________________________
/ How do you power off this machine? \
| -- Linus, when upgrading linux.cs.helsinki.fi, and after using the |
\ machine for several months /
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
\
\____
/@ ~-.
\/ __ .- |
// // @
linux suse.cow -s 6