Karl

The most lasting impact of Microsoft was to make professionals their own secretaries.

I do not own a iPhone 5, but, based on about 5 minutes of web queries, Siri has not become the electronic personal assistant I hoped it would be.

Google's Now will always be parsecs ahead of this project, but Google is Now officially known to be in league with groups destroying the Constitution.

I don't want to get into politics, but, when you reduce it, right before rhetoric, you have politics. It's unavoidable.

"The means of defence agst. foreign danger, have been always the instruments of tyranny at home." James Madison... former President

I am ready to have crappier software that doesn't make me an accomplice to the loss of liberty.

Karl will...

alert you to your appointments
get important messages to you
remind you how beautiful life is

Karl won't...

be a double agent
laugh at you
ever let you down

Phase 1 (In which discover the depth of our ignorance)

From the beginning of time

mail comes in mail goes out

We have tags
We have subjects
We have ccs
We have attachments
We have dates
We have mail servers
We have words
We have replies
We have time ranges between replies
We have punctuation
We have letters
We have numbers
We have salutations
We have signatures
We have headers

Phase 2 (In which we meet our hero)