Dad style programming jokes

submit your own, if they make me laugh I'll merge them.


Q: What diet did the ghost developer go on?

A: Boolean


Q: Why was the developer unhappy at his job?

A: He wanted arrays.


Q: Why did 10 get paid less than "10"?

A: There was workplace inequality.


Q: Why was the function sad after a successful first call?

A: He didn’t get a callback.


Q: Why did the angry function exceed the callstack size?

A: He got into an Argument with himself


Q: Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

A: Inheritance


Q: Why did the developer ground his daughter?

A: She wasn't telling the truthy


Q: What did the array say after it was extended?

A: Stop objectifying me.


!false

It's funny 'cause it's true.


Q: Where did the parallel function wash its hands?

A: Async


Q: I'm starting a band called HTML Encoder

A: Looking to buy a guitar &


Q: Why did the functions stop calling each other?

A: Because they had constant arguments.


Q: What's the second movie about a database engineer called?

A: The SQL.


A programmer's wife tells them, "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.


Q: What did the spider do on the computer?

A: Made a website!


Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?

A: Had a byte!


Q: What does a baby computer call his father?

A: Data!


Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?

A: It had a virus!


Q: What is a computer virus?

A: A terminal illness!


Q: Why was the computer cold?

A: It left its Windows open!


Q: Why was there a bug in the computer?

A: Because it was looking for a byte to eat?


Q: Why did the computer squeak?

A: Because someone stepped on it's mouse!


Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?

A: A screensaver!


Q: Where do all the cool mice live?

A: In their mousepads!


Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?

A: Lots of memory!


Java truly is an OOP language...

As in: OOPs I used Java!


Q: How do programming pirates pass method parameters?

A: Varrrrarrrgs.


Q: How do programming shepherds count their flock?

A: With lambda functions

--

Q: How did pirates collaborate before computers ?

A: Pier to pier networking.


Q: Why don't bachelors like Git?

A: Because they are afraid to commit.


Q: A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks:

A: Can I JOIN you?


Q: ["hip","hip"]

A: (hip hip array!)


Q: Why was the developer's family upset with them at dinner?

A: They forgot to git squash before going home


Q: What did JavaScript call his son?

A: JSON!


Q: What did the proud React component say to its child?

A: I've got to give you props


Q: What did the server say to his client who was having a bad day?

A: Everything's going to be 200


Q: Why did the developer go broke?

A: Because he used up all his cache